When Your Mother Comes to Visit

So if you guys have been keeping up, my husband has been away for a little bit so I’ve been chilling out here on my own. My mother, being the worry wart that she is, no really we went to yoga last night ( like a 20 min walk there and back), she speed-walked the entire way home because she thought we were in the ghetto and gonna get robbed. We were in actually in a section full of college kids. ( insert monkey emoji shielding its eyes) But anyways she decided that I couldn’t be here all by myself for too long, so she decided to come for a visit.

Now trust me, I love my mom, like for realz we have so much fun, shopping, spa dates, doing all the fitness activities, so I was very excited for her to come. But before she came I made sure that everything in my life/ apartment, whatever, was mom proof. You know what I mean, like how when your mom’s not there you probably haven’t cleaned your bath tub in like 3 months or usually you let your laundry pile up until you run out of underwear. That tends to worry mothers, or bring on a slew of nagging.

Because I feel like I am very competent when it comes to creating a mother-approved environment, I have compiled a list to help you too ensure your mother has a pleasant, complaint free, and shock averting stay.Tick off all these boxes and you can relax and enjoy your time with mom, without having to worry if your lifestyle will send her over the edge.

Managing Mom

◊ Clean your sinks : any of that toothpaste scum.. yeah get that gone

◊ Clean your tub: like that orange stuff in there … thats mold. #moldisnotahouseplant

◊ Vacuum: even if its a little bit.. like woah especially if you have pets, my floors looked amazing

◊ Clean your stove: hint remove the grates if its gas and get all around those burners

◊ Wash your mirrors: bathrooms mirrors.. clean them, you’ll be amazed at how much more beautiful you look in a clean mirror

◊ Hide your clutter: I don’t care where you put it, just hide it! I mean if your feeling ambitious find a place for it all and if not, wait for your mom..she’ll know where to put it.

◊ Organize your Kitchen drawers: you want your mom to know that you have your life together, so organize that shit

◊ Clean your toilet bowels!: This is super important, first no one likes a dirty toilet, second, if your mom’s like mine she would flip her shit and use the toilet at the nearest hotel

◊ Make your bed: In everyday life who has time to make their bed?!.. not me but with mom around, gotta show her that you are good at #adulting

.. on the subject of bed…

◊Wash your sheets: especially if mom is sleeping in your bed.. you don’t want her sleeping in anyone’s jizz. #crunchysheets #no

◊ Wash your towels: a mom can always tell when the towels aren’t freshly washed

◊ Check the air: what I mean by this is make sure your apartment doesn’t smell like poop. If it does.. well first I’m concerned for you… second light a fucking candle!

◊ Lock your door: whether you live in a million dollar loft with a gated parking and code entry building or a typical college house.. lock it! Seriously if she sees you not locking your door she will be worried about your safety, and we don’t want worrying lecturing mothers #putthatshitonlock

◊ Don’t take her walking on the sketchy streets: I know they actually are safe even though they look like shit, but if you don’t wanna hear an earful.. or get dragged down the street a speed racer pace.. #AVOID

◊ Show off your cooking skills: Make sure your mom knows you can survive on your own, whip her up your best breakfast. Check out my fav here, its great for impressing mom

Last but not least

◊ Enjoy your time! your mom will be so happy to see you, especially know that she will be re-assured that you are doing just fine

Do you have any tips I missed?! please add on in the comments!

BlondieBite of the day is my never fails-hummus and dippers. Protein and veggies included!

Bite Me, With Love

 

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